I moved to London about five years ago. I'm a solicitor, so I’ve been working throughout the pandemic from home, but I started my new role in March. So, it was as the country went into lockdown. It's been very different from what I'm used to.

I've always been quite a vivid dreamer, but I'd say that I'm getting more vivid dreams during lockdown and I'm remembering them more. I do struggle to sleep. They tend to wake me up. At the moment, I find that I can just suddenly remember them halfway through the next day. And there definitely a bit of a pattern with the sort of feelings that I feel when I wake up. There's definitely a change.

This is the first time I've [kept a dream journal]. I think Graham Greene did a dream diary – I saw that on my bookshelf, and I thought, actually, that's quite a good thing to do at the moment. I've been trying to type it out on my phone when I remember them, [usually] the next morning. There's a few which I did do in the night, which, then when I look back on it, I have to edit because it's rambling and it doesn't make sense.

It comes up quite a lot in conversation when you speak to people. People keep telling you [their dreams] and then I can show people the different ones that I've had. Especially when you go through a bit of a rough patch, I feel like when I look back at them, I'm, like, “Well, that's probably why I'm having these type of dreams.” I think it's just a way of trying to just figure out why you're feeling the way you're feeling – to bring your dream life and your reality together in a way.

What is particularly different now is I wake up and I feel stronger emotions. That's the only way I can think about it. For instance, there's been dreams where I can't find my little cousin. I wake up and I'm panicking, and I feel disturbed. And even though I know it's a dream, I still feel really unsettled. And then it's [hard] trying to get back to sleep but all these thoughts are swirling around in my brain. I’m thinking, “Well, you can't go back to sleep. What about this?” And I start thinking things through.

I feel in a weird way that my dreams make more sense, because I click and I think, well, I've obviously been feeling unsettled or I'm nervous or I'm feeling guilty cause I'm not seeing people. I'm not seeing my family as much. I think it's things like that. It kind of puts the pieces together. Then I talk to a friend about it and think, “God, maybe I need to go home and see my parents back in Birmingham.” That process of talking it through to someone; it's quite a good way to bond with someone.

The weirdest one I've had—I wasn't actually in it—I was watching. And it [took place] on an older estate, a really grand house. It was getting dark and I could feel this really scary presence. And in my mind, I thought of a vampire. It was like there was a vampire or a ghost. There was something. There were people walking around having a tour of the house, but there was this evil presence there that was going to get them. It was going to hurt them somewhere and I'm panicking watching these people, but I can't do anything about it. Then weirdly, these two beaver-like creatures come along. They're behind this fence and they're trying to get in to help people and they could talk and they're trying to discuss it. One of them sort of disappears and manages to get in and runs away. But then the other one starts having this horrendous fit. It's convulsing and foaming at the mouth and that's when I wake up and I'm panicking.

I felt quite stressed and disturbed by it. But then, it's really a ridiculous dream. It's talking beavers and vampires or ghosts. It's ridiculous. But then when you are in that dream and you are having that dream, you think it's real. You don't realize it's a dream. I dunno whether I was there in person, whether it's me watching it, just a bit like a horror film, have no idea, but it just really freaks me out.

[I’m] usually in [my dreams] in some shape or form. A different one I had was in my house, and it was me, sleeping at night in my bedroom. And then I wake up and then I can hear these men outside. It was my old flatmate and my other flatmate that I still live with. They're in bed and they're calling our names but I'm the only one that wakes up. They sound evil and I'm really scared to look out the window at them. I don’t know what to do. And they keep saying, “I know you're awake. If you don't come out, if you don't look out the window, we are going to come in.” And then I call the police, and they say, “No, we're not doing anything about it until you look out the window.” And I just know that something really bad is going to happen if I do that. So, I just stood there in the spot.

With those two dreams, I woke up panicking and thinking, “Well, what's going to happen?” And I think that's probably how I was feeling at the time. Even though I was really lucky to have my job and feel really secure, it was still a new job. And I think it's the fact that you just don't know when everything's going to go back to normal. I think that's probably what it is. Just the uncertainty of it all.

With the dates of some of the dreams that I've managed to remember or keep, they seem to be at the beginning of each lockdown announcement or around it. I think that's part of it – because you know that you're going to go back in. You're not going to have as much freedom, and you just have no idea when this is going to end.

I had one positive dream, which was quite nice because for the first time in years, I've tried dating, which is a really good step for me. That was in-between lockdowns, where you could go out and meet people. And I remember I'd been on two dates with this guy. He lives around Cambridge. I had not been to his area. He worked around London, so we'd meet there. I remember [in the dream] going to meet him in a pub. He's a chef and he really wants to build up his own business. I remember touring the pub to see whether we could buy it together. And I remember feeling really good about it. Because it shows that you can do this. You can go out and you can meet someone. You can start thinking about your future. So that is one really positive dream that I've had. Probably the only positive dream I've had [laughs].

My work patterns changed, because I'm no longer working 9–5. If I have to work late, I work late. But when I leave the office, I have a 40- to 50-minute commute where I read a book or listen to music. As for now, I tend to wake up when I want, and I start work roughly around the right time, and then I'll work for a bit, have a break. I work a lot later into the evening, and by the time I've had dinner, and I've watched maybe an hour’s worth of TV, it's really time to go to bed. So, I'm not really switching off the way that I used to. I feel almost guilty if I don't do all my hours. And then I will have the urge to work over the weekends to make up for it. It's not the space [that’s the problem]. It's probably more the mental aspect of just not being able to separate home from work—because of working from home. It's not something I'm used to.

I really took [the transition time of commuting] for granted. It didn't used to be that I picked where I wanted to live. I used to think, “Right, well, I need to be an hour from work. I wanna to be able to walk to work,” which is why I live where I live. It's a 50-minute walk, and I could run in. But now I think I'd be less bothered if it took me longer, because I really appreciate that time to listen to music and read. And now it's just trying to figure in where to fit that bit of enjoyment in. I don't have that anymore.