I've been recording my dreams since 2006. I write them down in the night, or in the morning. My dream life used to be very silly—a lot of dreams that were very fun. Very little nightmares. Some stressful dreams sometimes, but nothing violent in my dreams. A lot of themes of childhood. But they have changed in the last year or so. They're more stressful, at the moment. They've went from kind of carefree to a bit more stressful.

I don't know if it's because I'm growing older, but there's a lot of themes now that are much more serious. There's always a feeling in my dreams that I have so much responsibility, so many things to do, whether it's social responsibility, social status, things like that, or just something that is just monetary—looking for jobs and getting ahead in my career. Just things I'm already thinking about in the day, “Okay, I have this to do, I have that to do.” And it's just filled with responsibilities at the moment.

The pandemic has changed my personal situation, so I guess that would be reflected in the dream life. But my dreams used to be of an escape. Sometimes I would wake up laughing. And now it's more like, I'm so relieved to wake up and not think about this thing, this task I have to do. I have to decorate houses a lot in the dreams, and I have to think about the budget, and things that I'm not even doing in my life day-to-day: moving houses, searching for houses, finding houses that in a very bad state and having to fix them, then having to decorate it.

I guess the changes that happened in my life were also positive during the pandemic, which is funny why I have these dreams. I feel like I've been robbed of some carefree feeling that I used to have. I [used to] work and then I would go out and not really overthink things. Now I'm always home, and with plenty of time to think and to amplify problems. And obviously I think this is reflected in my dream life.

I can't really escape things. I can't go out, and I can't party with my friends. I'm just here. And I have to think about these things all the time. Anytime I have little bits of free time, I'm saying, “Okay, I have problems to solve.”

One of my most recent [dreams] was visiting apartments in London. I was so stressed. I couldn't find anything. I went into a flat and Robbie Williams was the tenant/agent. And he obviously was very drunk, and the house was in a terrible state. And I thought, “Oh, not another one like that.” And he had three dogs that were these nightmarish dogs with glassy eyes and fur here and there and trying to attack. And the house was in a terrible state. There was dog food in the carpet and everything. And I was just walking through it. And I was saying, “Focus on yourself, focus on yourself, focus on how you can change things. Just don't look at the surroundings, just focus on how you can make things better.” It was this mix of responsibility, again, of having to look for something new and maybe just trying to not give into the chaos, trying to stay focused. They always have a tone like that: chaos, responsibilities.

He was nothing like the Robbie Williams we all know. He was [an] alcoholic and aggressive and mumbling. I thought, “Oh my God.” I don't know why he was there, but there was nothing about him being funny. It was terrifying.

There's one where I'm helping someone run a scam in a fertility clinic. I don't know where that comes from at all. I’ve never run scams with people or tried to get pregnant in my life. I've been a PA to [Emmanuel] Macron in one of my dreams, and also tried to get a job with Trump. But not President Trump, it was more The Apprentice. I was waiting to get an interview and the person who was interviewing after me was Ivanka Trump. And we were both kind of being competitive with each other. And I was trying to focus. I was very stressed about it as well.

There's a lot of people judging me in my recent dreams, and me having to prove myself. I used to work on yachts. [I have] a lot of dreams about this. About me having to go back to it and I'm saying, “Oh no. Why do I have to start everything from the beginning?” There's a recurring thing with going back to my old industry, to my old high school, to university. They make me very stressed, these dreams somehow.

I'm trying to change industries. I'm trying to find something completely else. And that's why, maybe. I'm going back to high school. High school was a time where you are still choosing a direction. [In the dreams] I was thinking, “I have to get the best possible grades so I can have some choices.” It's not like I don't have some now, but it's just to be as prepared for life as possible.

I didn’t dream about politicians before now. Obviously, they're everywhere. It’s like, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, and then in France, its Macron, Macron, Macron. So, I think that's why they had a cameo. I’ve also dreamt about Netflix people. I dreamed about some real Housewives of Beverly Hills. In my dream they are judging me. Paris Hilton, at some point. Tiger King, all that. But obviously it's because Netflix has become such a huge part of our lives now. They are confused with my social life in these dreams.

Last night, I was dreaming about redoing the house again. I was dreaming about redoing the house, looking for new coffee tables, and then a blood waterfall in Antarctica that I saw somewhere on the Internet the day before—it's a red waterfall in Antarctica. It was just there in the middle of [the house], kind of like The Shining. You know the scene where there's this blood coming in the hallway? That’s the image.

I was telling my friend the other day, “I'm so sick of coming back home and seeing the same things around me. I'm just so sick of this space. This bedroom, this kitchen. Everything is the same. I'm just so tired of it.” Every time I go to a park or something, and I come back to my place, I'm just so tired of it. And although I changed some things already and I try to keep it clean, and everything, oof! I'm getting so sick of where I live and these four walls. And maybe that's why I'm trying to change it, in my mind.