I've been outside for five years. Since COVID, I've been living in a tent. I don't really feel I'm in danger or anything, but certainly it's not the quietest, most relaxing place to sleep. I stayed in one place for almost two years, and for the most part it was all right just 'cause it was a spot where the city would leave you alone, but traffic-wise it was down by the Gardiner [Expressway], so there was a constant hum of traffic. It was a little annoying to sleep and dream and stuff. For the most part, I don't know. I usually get a good eight-hour sleep every night.

I would describe [my dream life as] actually, probably pretty boring. Most of my dreams seem to be about the past or people that I know for real or have contact with in my day-to-day life. I don't really dream about abstract things, or the future, or people I don't know. I know that they say when you're in REM sleep, you're kind of going over the things you've seen or read during the day and stuff like that. It's kind of like, time for the brain to sort of process what you'd seen and learned that day. It seems to me like I have a lot of regrets and stuff in my life, so I think I'm always thinking about the past quite often. That's why I seem to dream a lot about that. About my kids. Mistakes I made in the past.

My kids are a little older now, right? They're both adults and they're both doing well. So, yeah, I find I dream more now about some of the traveling I did, places I've been because I've moved around a lot, backpacked around the country and stuff. Lived a lot of places. This is about the longest I've ever stayed still. I've been here about eight years. I miss being out West.

I think I had more imaginary dreams [when I was a kid]. Seemed like I can remember some dreams I had, like when I was reading The Hobbit and stuff, when I was like 10 or 11. I remember having, like, nightmares about goblins and shit like that[laughs]. You know the part in that when they're sleeping in the cave when it was raining and shit and they're just getting in the mountains and the back wall opened up and they got all captured. I remember one night I had the flu, and I was sick, and it was like, between the sickness and the fever and the dream. And it was crazy. Probably one of the most vivid dreams I ever had in my life.

When they're more like reality-based or past-based, they're kind of more depressing [laughs].

And regretful. Like, when you're... when I was younger and I had more like abstract imaginary kind of dreams, there was more, I don't know, exciting, and uh, you know, anything could happen. Like, my imagination was a little more active.

I got involved and had kids young and I was pretty immature for all that and dealt with things badly when things didn't work out and made life hard for everybody involved. It took going away for a few years and wandering around out West to get some time and distance and mature a bit myself. All the mistakes I made, wasted my twenties, and that was a lot of time when my kids were young, and I missed out on that. So, I have regrets from that.

[My dreams] are kind of like, stuck there. That's why the drug use thing is going on, I find most people that have a habit that, like, [they are] are self-medicating for something, you know what I mean?

Because if I could relive it over, you know, it's like if I could go back now and be a kid with what I know now, you know, you make different choices, better choices, smarter choices, more mature choices, right? And at the time I thought I was mature. I thought I could handle stuff. I look back, I'm like, wow, I was so dumb and naive[laughs]. And so immature. Not ready for stuff[laughs].

I never really get to the point where I actually get to activate the better choice [in my dreams]. You know? I can get to the point where I made the mistake and it's like, I'm like, trapped in that U-turn [laughs]. You know what I mean? Like, I see what I want to do, but I do the same mistake again.

I felt like my family didn't have my back too much. They seemed to side with my ex. I don't really think she was very much of a partner. She had no compromise in her at all. She made things hard on me because at the time for being a young guy, I worked a lot. Even when we got separated, I took the kids every weekend, first couple years when we got separated. I had a two-bedroom place and I’d take the kids on the weekend [while] working all week. And I was still getting hated on by everybody. Like I made mistakes. I dunno, I'm not that close with my family, but I have contact with my kids on a regular [basis] and I'm kind of lucky they talk to me. I think those are my biggest regrets, and most of my dreams that revolve around that time period.

I find when I'm working too, I dream a lot about stuff that I'm doing. Like if it's something I'm just learning—I've done concrete work, carpentry work and stuff like that, or I'm hanging dry wall, or shit like that. As I'm learning something, I'll dream about it a lot the first 30, 40 days, because it's on my mind that much.

[My family was] pretty lower-middle-class. My mom was sort of a housewife. She had a few retail jobs and stuff like that, but she was home a lot. But she was a big reader. She got me into reading a lot, like early. Like she had a couple subscriptions to National Geographic and Scientific American and shit like that. I don't know. She got me reading young and got me interested in books, reading the classics and stuff like that, you know, like Oliver Twist, things like that, you know, Moby Dick. All those kind of things. I was pretty well read by the time I was done high school.

I think my mom had visions, like psychic-type dreams. Like she seen things in the future and shit like that. And she thought she talked to my grandmother, and she'd already passed away. I remember a few times in conversations and things like that. She seems to have more imaginary type dreams than I ever did.

I’ve spent a lot of time [at Moss Park] since this place opened. I'm glad it's here, especially for the times that I've been outside. This place really helps me get a lot of things done. I feel like I have somewhere, you know, to be out of the weather and stuff like that. Get food and people to talk to about stuff. I don't know. For the most part it's a pretty regular clientele. Most of the staff are pretty cool. It’d be a shame to see this place close. I count on it for a lot of reasons.