I felt peace, tranquility [while in the booth]. I thought about the change that I went through when I came here, about how it was to start all over. People come here to change, looking for a better life. It hasn’t been the best life, but at least, it has been peaceful.

It’s difficult in Colombia. I feel sad because my country is bad. My sons are there. It was difficult to raise them. My younger son just graduated from university, and he works and lives by himself. All of them work; they are very smart. And they tell me that I left the country at the right time, “Mom, you left in the very right moment. Things are awful here.” There are no jobs. Well, it’s the same here. I want them to come [to Switzerland], but, honestly, I think it’s very complicated. I mean, they went to university, they have a career, and if they come, what will they do? Wash dishes, fix gardens? Fixing a garden, working in the fields… I don’t picture them doing that

My older son is a graphic designer and a photographer. He has qualifications and studied for a Masters [degree] in Argentina. He has shown his work in the best galleries there. And he tells me, “Mom, I can’t find a job, and the ones I find offer me the minimum wage. I can’t live with that. I studied very hard for 20 years, so I can’t accept that.”

My daughter is a veterinarian. She lives in Las Vegas. Luckily, she went to the US and found a job quickly. She didn’t… well, she suffered a little bit, for four or five months, because she went there with her husband’s family, and they were mean to her. They made her cry, humiliated her, and event put her stuff in the streets. But, well, that type of experience helps people grow up. My younger son graduated recently in sport sciences, and now is looking for a specialization.

My original plan was to bring my children with me. That was my plan. Now, I think about it over and over. My oldest son phoned me the other day and asked me why I didn’t allow him to come. He wants me to bring him. But, I mean, I don’t even have papers, how am I supposed to bring him? I told him, “Life is hard in here.” I told him, “It’s not that I want to disappoint you. It’s easier to go to Holland, or Spain. Here, they cut off your wings.” In Colombia, if you don’t have a job, you can sell clothes, perfumes, do something to make some cash; but it’s not the case in here. Here, there is nothing you can do; here you can knock on doors, knock knock, and they ask you to go. So, I told my son, “Life is expensive here. I live in a very small place, and I can’t have you here.” If he comes, he would come with his wife. He wouldn’t come alone, obviously, he wouldn’t leave her wife all by herself after being married for 14 years. So, I told them to look somewhere else. Also, I don’t have a job yet. I have nothing. So, it’s difficult.

They are my blood and part of my soul, and I miss them, but… they already have a life. They won’t share their time with me, because they’re busy. That happened to me recently: one of them works, the other goes out, the other goes for a trip, one comes, the other goes. So, it’s difficult. Then, I thought… I used to call them on Sundays, after work: “Do you want to meet? Do you want to go somewhere?” “Ay, mom, we are hanging out with our friends.” Or, “Mom, I went dancing last night and I am tired”.

They are adults. If they were kids, I would wonder, “Who’s fixing their hair? Who bathes them?” Although, when they were little, I was working the whole day, and I had to leave them on their own, or with their grandma, or with someone else. That used to break my heart. “Did somebody wake them up? Did they do their hair? Did they eat? Did they take them to school?” I used to wonder.

I live very peacefully in here. Well, I suffer from not having a job, it stresses me out, and it depresses me sometimes, but I prefer to go out for a walk. Let me explain it to you: Latin American people have young souls. We are happy people. We don’t give up that easy. In Colombia, there are no stress issues [laughs]. There, people are active; there is no time to complain about stress. So, I am like that too. This morning, I woke up and saw that it was raining outside, and thought, “Uy, I won’t leave my house in this weather.” But then I remembered my commitment with you, and thought, “I can’t stand them up. No; I better get going.” So, I sat for a bit to knit (I am knitting a jersey). So, I was knitting, and then saw the clock, and thought, “It’s time to go” [laughs]. So, I took a shower and came here.

I dream a lot when I am worried. I dream that I leave and can’t return to my country. Then, I dream that I can’t return [to Switzerland]. That, and that I see my mother. My mother passed away 19 years ago, and I still see her in my dreams. She smiles, and laughs, and… it is a good dream.

Sometimes I see myself walking on high walls, and I feel that I am falling, but I never actually fall [laughs].

A few days ago, I was sleeping, and I dreamed that I was walking with my son, but he was young, maybe 10 years old, so I was holding his hand. And then a snake passed by and chopped off his head! I was screaming, and I pulled him, and repeated “No, no, no.” And then I started running and pulling his body… and, that was it. I woke up.

I woke up the next day and my son called me, telling me that his uncle had died. That happens to me very often; I have premonitions. Or even when I am awake, I say something like, “A person is coming,” and next day, that person shows up. Or “This person is going to call.” Sometimes I am at the supermarket looking at something, and I suddenly think, “I am going to meet somebody,” and pum! That person appears.