I'm a member of the Moss Park community. I've worked here with folks since 2017. There's fewer and fewer of us [OGs] left. It carries some weight because people have survived all these years. And others haven't.

Since I was a kid, I've gone through lots of periods of insomnia. I think it's usually related to moon cycles. I can be awake for a long time. Or I'll go through periods of not sleeping great. Lately I've been better at it though, so I've tried to catch up. But working here and all through the COVID pandemic and the overdose pandemic, I was here 15-hour days. But I still have a life, so then I would do my life things afterwards. That led to limited sleep. But yeah, I am better, and I try to sleep more.

I've always been a dreamer. Super active dreamer. A lot of lucid dreaming when I was a kid. I would practice it too. Like, you know, “I want to do this when I go to sleep,” and then I would do the thing that I wanted to do in my sleep, which was very cool. When I figured out I could do that I was really impressed. I was like, “Oh, this is more fun. I didn't actually realize it could be this fun.” I was reading a book about lucid dreaming. Tips about what to do before you go to bed and how to condition yourself. So, I would practice those things when I was a kid and that was a fun time for me.

But then, you know, work comes into your dreams. I used to work at a casino, and I would dream [about] all of the machines. Like that sound. And I was like, “Fuck, this means I've been at work too much.” Because all those sounds would be in my dream.

And in relationship to this place—sometimes I've had a full day's work before I even get up and do a full day's work. And other times I'll dream about people and then they'll come in. So, I'm like, “Oh yeah, did you hear me thinking about you?” And a couple of times, I've had the same dreams as people here.

More recently, I was describing a dream through a group text thread, and I was like, “Oh, I had this dream, and I was shifting timelines, jumping through timelines.” I gave a description of [the dream]. And then one person was like, “Yeah, I was there.” I said, “I know.” But I was waiting to see because I was like, “Oh, I am I a crazy person or is this happening?” And then she's like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there.” Another time we had a shared dream and then we ended up traveling together and we saw that very spot that we were dreaming about together.

If there's a full moon, it'll draw me out and wake me up. I'm awake more in that time between midnight and 4:00 AM sometimes 5:00 AM. And then when I go back to sleep in the morning for those couple of hours, it’s a really active dreaming time. I'm not sure how it's all connected, but there's something there.

In the same way, often if people die, then I will dream that, and I'm right [there], you know— sometimes in advance, or sometimes while it's happening. With family members. With people that I've been really close with here. The veil between the worlds is thinner in your sleep. So, there's also times that you can have visits from people when you're sleeping. That hasn't happened too often, but it's different than a dream. It's actually like a visit. It's like, “Oh, there's my grandmother.” It's a different way of interacting than in your waking life. I don't even know how to describe it. It's like, the texture of the world is different.

[Dreaming is] not as fun as it used to be because I'm working a little bit in my dreams. Like sometimes solving problems and doing that kind of stuff. I feel like I do enough of that during the day. I'd like to shift back into more adventurous dreams

There are different types of dreams. Some dreams are influenced by the day-to-day or what's going on. Then there's other dreams that prepare you for news—for bad news. So, it kind of depends what the purpose of the dream is at that time. I used to write them down. We set up a dream channel at work.

I [recently] dreamt about two baby killer whales. Then they started to resemble baby elephants playing in the water. I dream about animals a lot, actually. Like a lot, a lot. Animals are common in my dream life. Often playing. Sometimes I’m just watching them, but it depends on the type of animal. I feel like that's significant. I think that one [about the whales] was about playful adventure and travel. I think it was just a message to have a bit of fun. If I'm remembering the dream right, it was like one of those indoor-outdoor pool kind of things. There was a body of water that was kind of rushing into a pool, so it was like a blend between natural water and pool water. I'm like, “Oh, this is bizarre.” There was a safer space and a more wild space. And the baby whales were kids not doing what they were supposed to. Like they were being rascals. I'm like, “Oh, they're just having fun.”

Other times, when it's birds… like sometimes I'll dream of owls or like more serious animals will be telling me to, like, you know, just be smart. I’ve dreamt about a turtle that had fallen out of its shell. To me, that's probably about vulnerability. And then other times, um, you know, when things were getting really tough, like politically and around what was happening, I was dreaming about sharks circling a lot.

One time my grandmother's house caught on fire, and I dreamt that. I couldn't see the fire, but I saw what I thought was clouds around the middle of the house and I thought, “Oh, that's really odd, that there's clouds so low. Clouds are supposed to be in the sky.” And I was looking at it head on and then I got a call in the morning, “Oh the, the house is on fire. Everyone's okay though.” I'm like, “Oh, okay. Maybe it wasn't a cloud then. Maybe it was actually smoke.” But it’s bizarre just to dream about looking at the front of the house.

Another theme I dream about a lot is water. And water's usually good. It's about change or fluidity or about taking a leap without knowing what's underneath. And then to be swimming with sharks—and to be okay – I am like, “Oh, interesting.” That one was kind of like a cautionary message.

We talk about dreams here a lot too. And what they mean and what it's for. We've always talked about dreams here. It's commonplace. There are messages in there from yourself or maybe from creator or from I don't know. If someone's in my dream, I'll usually try to tell them. Or someone who I think might be interested in hearing about it. As silly as that sounds. Also, if a dream gets stuck in your head, or sometimes if I have a dream that's like unfinished and I don't complete the task, then it puts me on a not great footing for the day. So, then I'll explain to people why, like— “I'm sorry, [it’s because of] my dream, okay?” Just, to explain why I am in the head space I am.

It happens here a lot. A lot. The best conversations happen in this place. I have more real conversations with people here than I do in other parts of my life. There's a lot of small talk that exists in adult life and I actually despise it. But people here will talk about meaningful things—spirituality and dream life. But I think that's also because the people that come here have had more immersive life experiences than the rest of the general public. Exposure to experiences. A lot of experiences and a lot of near-death experiences that other people haven't. I wonder if that's the key: being so close to death and experiencing near death yourself. I wonder if that opens something else up in your brain. Allows for a different type of dream. Humans are just animals, right.? The near-death stuff triggers different senses and different types of skills for you to tap into that you wouldn't have to, otherwise.

Sometimes it's just micro-assessments of a situation, or a person, or the energy in the space. So, there's processing, but there's also different skills and abilities that can get turned on when you're exposed to trauma. Totally nonverbal. This community has developed a practice of getting to know someone. And being really open and vulnerable and authentic. Like, “Oh, you want to get to know me? Let me tell you about my dream.”

People love each other here. I think most people experience it—myself included—as a place where you can just be. But also, a place where you can give and receive care. Try new things and make mistakes and try again. This is a place where a lot of people come to be a better human being, which is pretty wonderful to watch.